Feb 2, 2014


So, I posted a while back about my new hamster Gray.  It is funny, this little hamster, he is teaching me about being gray in my life, more than I thought he would.

When I got Gray, I wanted him so badly.  We went to three different pet stores, to pick out the perfect one, I got him treats, and I loved cleaning and feeding him.  The children loved him and the new hype in our home was our new hamster friend Gray.

Over the last few months the hype has died down, I don't clean the cage weekly, and I forget to feed him.  So, naturally, I then decided I was done with him.  I wanted him gone.  I posted him for sale and was almost ready to just let him run away (I don't think I would have done that, that would have been cruel).

Tonight I decided I better change his cage, just in case I got a call for his new home.  But while cleaning, I learned something about being gray in my life.

I get hyped quickly, about a lot of things.  The new fix is the answer to all my problems and I am all about it.  Does that sound familiar to anyone? (Please, I am not alone in this, right :)  When some time passes, I come to the conclusion that I better find something different because I didn't chose the right thing.  Then the process starts all over.  Different emotions come with each stage.

But, tonight as I took Gray out of his cage to clean it, I realized that having Gray is not about the idea of owning the hamster- the cleaning, buying the food, feeding him; it is about the process of having the hamster and enjoying him.

In life, I am all about an idea and then the end result.  I fixate on accomplishing something, but I do not allow myself the enjoyment of the journey (as much as I enjoy the planning and finishing).

As I let Gray run on my arm and feel tickled, pet his soft fur, listened to his quiet noises, and watched him play, I realized that is what the grey in life is all about.

It isn't about the routine I successfully carried out at home with the kids; it isn't about the won or lost soccer game; it isn't the 5 lbs I lost- rather, it is the laughing I create with my kids while being silly throughout the day; it is the joy of playing on that great big field and increasing skill, endurance and teamwork; it is about understanding myself and being healthy....

In life there are lots of things I come and go from.  Being an all or nothing person is extreme and exhausting.  But, as I am learning the gray in life, I am learning balance, processes, and the joy in discovering what Gray has to offer, rather than focusing on his black and white coloring.

Thank you Gray.  As I combine the black and the white, I want to keep you and learn more about the gray.


Brian and Michelle said...

You are so insightful. Thank you for sharing that with me.

Hillary said...

Thanks for sharing. It made me reflect about myself too. It is so good to learn about ourselves. :)

Traci said...

You are an amazing person Chelle! Thank you for sharing the things you've been dealing with. It helped me reflect on my own life and how similar my thought processes are to yours. I know that there is healing taking place in your life and as hard as it is to endure, in the end it truly will be a beautiful thing!! Love you friend!! So grateful to have you in my life!! :)