Oct 25, 2013

The man was given to provide and protect; the woman was given to make it all worthwhile

(...) indicates paragraph breaks- does anyone know how to fix this HTML problem of the spaces not showing up? A friend emailed me about my last post and I emailed her back. This post is cut from part of the email in response to hers, and I thought I would include it here as a follow up to my feelings from yesterday.... Since Riley has been born I have reflected on finding joy as being a mom. My entire life I have dreamed of having a husband that I would love and he love me, and having children that I can stay home with and raise. And yet, now that I am in the dream I have always dreamed of, I have had to search harder than I ever knew I would to find joy in this journey.... I find it difficult to focus on the little joys that I talked about in my post, but am realizing that I am the only one that can change my thinking and make my life what ever I want it to be..... When you are younger no one talks about how sensitive you become to your child's cry; how and why sex can be so complicated; the mundane tasks that become daunting; and temptation full time work (outside of the home) will seem at times; how difficult it will be to breastfeed or take off the baby weight; the heartache that sacrifice brings away from your husband or time to yourself..... ..... I have blamed my headaches for a lot of years, rightfully I would say, but none the less, I am realizing that I am in charge of my thoughts, my attitude, my focus, my priorities- with or without a headache; tantrums or giggles- I need to be committed no matter what to make my home a place of peace and joy. As a mother and wife I have so much influence. While I have transitioned to motherhood, I have diminished my role and searched for meaning. As I broaden my perspective, I am realizing that my meaning is in the everyday, mundane tasks, but in it is what I am working so hard for. I read something from Boyd K Packer today and there was a quote I loved, "The man was given to provide and protect; the woman was given to make it all worthwhile." I loved that and it helps me to realize that I am worthwhile and all that I do is worthwhile, even though it is hard and sometimes feels like I don't do well. Collectively, I am here at home, trying my hardest, and doing a darn good job. I have to keep reminding myself :)

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